Dirty Speech
by Zelha
Summary: Who would have thought her husband had such a penchant for dirty talk! ItaSaku crackish smut.


**Disclaimer:** Nope, not mine. Meh.

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**Dirty Speech**

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They should not be there.

The sentence ran through her mind, like a piece of music on repeat, several times, as the members of Konoha's council droned on and on about the village's issues and needs. Tsunade looked as bored as the rest of the attendants of the meeting, including _her_.

To say that Sakura was not amused was an understatement, especially when sitting next to her life partner as he regarded everything with the usual sharpness, even if the Clan Council meeting was something more like a suicide by boredom, to say the least.

They were gathered on the Hokage Tower's roof – the Clan Council was too large to be held in Tsunade's office. From there, they could appreciate the sweeping view of their beloved homeland. Tatami mats placed everywhere thanks to the Uchiha clan's foresight, as well as a large tent provided by the Hyuuga clan, ensured the comfort of the upcoming Clan Summit. The summit promised to be as long and unbearable as it was to listen to Ino's gossiping rants.

And it had been a nice day, to boot. They could have gone to the Nakano River to train, and she could have taken a dip afterwards.

"What is on your mind?" she heard his toneless whisper. She looked around to check; no one was paying them any mind since they sat way at the back of the gathering. Since the task of leading the clan had been bestowed upon Itachi, it was merely a matter of time before their peers grew accustomed to his reclusive habits. He sat at the back of every gathering, watching everything sharply until he deemed it necessary to intervene or to voice his opinion on the matter in discussion.

Whereas Sakura, since she entered the Uchiha clan as Itachi's bride, she made a point to accompany him on these meetings. They both considered it a good way to warm the rest of the Council to the bemusing idea of having Sakura – a pink head on dark-haired clan's behalf – as an Uchiha representative in the future.

It wasn't the most enjoyable job in the world, but someone had to do it. Seeing as Sakura was knowledgeable about protocol and possessed impressive diplomatic skills – far more than his – it was just the most suitable option. Diplomacy was promptly thrown out with window, however, when someone became stern with her. In such instances, Sakura immediately dropped the political façade and resorted to being as blunt as always; which, in Itachi's opinion, was much more effective than mellifluous, empty words

However, when she glanced in his direction, she realized that his attention was not on the meeting. It was on her.

"I was thinking about training at the Nakano River and maybe going for a swim," she murmured back. It was a good thing they had chosen the perfect location for a personal conversation with the other attendants none the wiser. The noise from the crowd down below was just the buffer they needed to ensure the necessary privacy. "It's such a beautiful day I wish we were _there_ instead of here."

Itachi nodded in agreement, not even bothering to mask his impatience towards the Council's latest charade. Indeed, they could have gone to the river to...train.

"Just the mere thought of us frolicking in the cool river is more refreshing than sitting here through this; that is for sure."

Sakura turned her head and stared at her man. Had he just used the word "frolicking?"

Granted, Itachi was more vocal whenever they were alone, impressing her thoroughly with his extensive knowledge about folk tales and traditions of his clan. Once, he had told her an entire legend, his words transporting her to the middle of the story, in the middle of the battle and almost seeing the harbingers of war flying down upon the enemies of the heroes.

This was Sakura's most treasured secret. Uchiha Itachi, her darling husband, was a great storyteller.

If he'd ever given thought to publishing a book, he never said so. She was willing to bet that his published works would put Icha Icha's popularity to shame. Hell, even when relating events that were extremely high in adult-rated content, she could almost feel what the characters in his narrations were feeling. Even with his toneless voice, he positively _commanded_ his audience's attention and could persuade anyone to see things the way _he_ saw them.

This was also true of those times he spoke in public. For example, when he chose to voice his opinion regarding matters the Clan Council were pussyfooting around, even Hyuuga Hiashi – who was still a sore loser because he wanted Sakura to marry his nephew, much to her embarrassed chagrin – had to agree to his point of view.

Nonetheless, Itachi caught her nonplussed look and raised an eyebrow. "Don't you agree that bathing in the river brings to mind more pleasant images than being here?"

Sakura nodded, baffled. What sort of game was he playing?

Itachi smirked faintly, eliciting a blush to appear in his beautiful wife's cheeks. Judging by that smirk, he was surely plotting something, she was sure of that.

"It is a pity that we have to be here," he leaned and breathed in her ear. "It would have been a delightful experience to watch you swimming in the river with nothing covering your body."

True, she had gone skinny dipping to the river, but his voice was actually doing funny things to her insides. She was slowly melting as she pictured the scene. He was lying on his cloak, the one he used when he was an ANBU captain, as he watched, closely, intensely, every maneuver she made as she whirled and reeled among the gentle waters of the river.

The fact that she was wearing a heavy kimono didn't help!

"It's a rather pleasing image, in my opinion," he continued lowly, his whisper only heard by her. "I can almost see your creamy skin gleaming under the sunlight as you make your way through the water, towards me; wading the river waves like a sensuous mermaid."

Sakura's cheeks burst with a heavy flush. She could see everything, and yet, she knew he hadn't cast a genjutsu on her. His words were enough to transport her, and he knew it perfectly.

That was why he always won their arguments, no matter how mad Sakura was. It was totally unfair.

His next whisper sent a jolt down her spine. "I can imagine your wet skin flushed with anticipation, waiting for me to make the next move. We are alone in the river, and yet the thrill of the danger of being discovered sparks your desire more acutely."

The pink-haired kunoichi let out a gasp, as she felt a flash of heat rushing down to her center. Hiding her face from view behind her fan, her senses narrowed down to the man beside her, the man that currently was leaning on her, his warm breath ghosting on the shell of her ear, sending sharps thrills down her body.

"You can see it, can't you? My hands reaching for you, caressing your curves slowly, as you settle your soaked body on my lap. I figure I would have to restrain myself from taking you then and there, but your wetness makes my craving more heated, more urgent. I would need to see your back arching beautifully as I thrust deep inside your secret place, your thighs clasping my hips as I drive myself within you..."

Sakura's left hand clenched in her obi, trying desperately to maintain her composure. They were in such a public place it was insane to even think he would indulge in such antics! However, she knew her husband well. Itachi hadn't had any qualms to show his desire for her wherever they were. Hell, they had even christened her office at the hospital... and his own study at the manor, during an Uchiha gathering.

"Or maybe you would prefer for me to explore you with my tongue?" he purred. "It would be so easy to see you then, flushed and sprawled beneath me, begging for me to take you, hard and fast, or slow and torturing, perhaps using my Sharingan to make you scream..."

It was so clear in her mind that the hand sustaining the fan let it fell to her lap, as she cupped both her hands on her face. She was on fire, picturing what his words were painting was almost too much to bear.

"And when you come down from your high, it would be the perfect time to make you mine once more; making your sweet, sweet voice hoarsen with every pant, every gasp, every calling of _my name_. I would make sure you can't see anything else but _me_."

Sakura shuddered, breathing so heavily that she hadn't noticed how high-strung her body was. Itachi was outwardly calm and composed, but something in his sharp eyes told her he was as excited as she was.

"I can almost hear you screaming my name when I finally push you off the edge, managing to take me with you as your center closes on me so mercilessly that I can do nothing but comply. Can you feel it, Sakura? Can you feel the scorching heat of our union? Can you feel every sensation of my possession of you?"

That was all it took for her to let out a moan behind her hands, her orgasm thrumming through her body, as his heated words finally reached his intended, wicked point.

She felt his arm wrapping around her back, keeping her sitting up as his hand brought her head to his chest. The wide sleeves of his haori served to hide her flushed features from view. The councilmen that were seated in front of them had turned their heads to them, and he wasn't going to allow them to see his wife's face drowned in sinful pleasure.

"Uchiha-sama, is your wife well?" she vaguely heard one of the old geezers asking.

"She has been feeling under the weather lately, yes," he answered politely. "I wish I could take her home, but we are all to remain until we reach an agreement on the new heritage law."

"This is taking much too long," agreed the man sitting in front of Sakura. "It's so refreshing to see a young couple so committed to make Konoha good. But you shouldn't push yourself so hard, Sakura-sama. It would be best if you leave everything to your dutiful husband here."

"She is too stubborn for her own good. She wants to help me in everything she can," Itachi's nonchalant voice droned with a sigh. "She has been so stressed that her body had been reacting oddly in the mornings, with nausea and general sickness. I have to admit that I am worried for her wellbeing."

Sakura, finally catching up on his act, let out a whimper, bringing a hand to her face.

"Oh! It would be best if you take her to the hospital, Uchiha-sama, something tells me her illness would need expert monitoring!"

"Excellent idea, Saburo-sama; we shall take our leave now. Please excuse us with the rest of the Council and Hokage-sama. It is of utmost importance that I look after my wife."

"Of course, Uchiha-sama, we shall inform them of her indisposing. Get well soon, Sakura-sama, and congratulations!"

Expertly scooping her in his strong arms, Itachi stood and retreated to the Tower, as Sakura laughed silently behind her hand. "You're impossible!" she hissed softly as he made his way down the stairs of the Hokage's building. "Now they'll think I'm pregnant! What would happen if they notice your lie?"

"Who said it is a lie?" he shot back with a low murmur.

"I said it is! I'm not pregnant!"

"Ah, but that is easily remedied," Itachi countered with a smirk. Sakura stilled in his arms, watching him with the bewildered look that had started everything.

Itachi's smirk widened slightly when she started to pink again. "Wha-what are you saying?"

"You know I don't speak idle threats, my beloved wife," he said lightly, as his feet finally hit the street sidewalk and lowered her to the ground. "We are going to the Nakano River, as you wished."

The fire in his words was more than evident, and Sakura knew she had to brace herself for the onslaught of his passion once they there, the place they should have been.

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_- Tenna' ento lye omenta -_

-XxX-_  
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**A/N:** There you go, Peachy, dirty talk provided by _the_ Uchiha Itachi himself. I had so much fun writing this, hahaha.

Once more, much love to my dearest beta Rapturesrevenge, who almost throttled me because I didn't tell her about how NSFW this was and I caught her off guard. XDDD

Thanks for reading!


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